Perfect Lie- a poem on perfectionism

Perfect Lie

I touted it with honor

in every interview.

“Perfectionism is my greatest weakness,”

I’ll sell my soul for you.

Success is peace in knowing

you did your very best,

not necessarily rising

ahead of all the rest -

Wooden echoes like a saint

returning to my mind.

He describes that which I cannot feel,

trapped in Perfect’s bind.

Obsessing inch by inch

Anxious to control

how I am perceived.

My life a running poll -

voted on by everyone

giving me a grade

did I pass with flying colors?

or leave them all dismayed?

Plagued by what might be,

slipping further away.

Am I better now than before?

longing for yesterday

Unlearning this is harder

than teaching them all young

that they are destined for love

as spring is meant to sprung.

Like a child I dive deep

embracing each new wave.

We sow what we shall reap.

Through faith I must be brave.

Traversing foreign lands

Studying ancient life

Balance made impossible

when plowing through the strife.

I desire wild experiences

bold and unafraid.

I want to cry and laugh and yell

with nothing to evade.

I’m sorry for feeling sorry still -

she’d want me to live more.

I forgive myself each day again

for hurting her before.

She warned us that perfection

is not a worthy cause.

It slowly purges us of joy.

Embrace your messy flaws!

I will live despite my fear -

choosing fire before illusion.

I am enough and perfectly made

for love and revolution.