Perfect Lie
I touted it with honor
in every interview.
“Perfectionism is my greatest weakness,”
I’ll sell my soul for you.
Success is peace in knowing
you did your very best,
not necessarily rising
ahead of all the rest -
Wooden echoes like a saint
returning to my mind.
He describes that which I cannot feel,
trapped in Perfect’s bind.
Obsessing inch by inch
Anxious to control
how I am perceived.
My life a running poll -
voted on by everyone
giving me a grade
did I pass with flying colors?
or leave them all dismayed?
Plagued by what might be,
slipping further away.
Am I better now than before?
longing for yesterday
Unlearning this is harder
than teaching them all young
that they are destined for love
as spring is meant to sprung.
Like a child I dive deep
embracing each new wave.
We sow what we shall reap.
Through faith I must be brave.
Traversing foreign lands
Studying ancient life
Balance made impossible
when plowing through the strife.
I desire wild experiences
bold and unafraid.
I want to cry and laugh and yell
with nothing to evade.
I’m sorry for feeling sorry still -
she’d want me to live more.
I forgive myself each day again
for hurting her before.
She warned us that perfection
is not a worthy cause.
It slowly purges us of joy.
Embrace your messy flaws!
I will live despite my fear -
choosing fire before illusion.
I am enough and perfectly made
for love and revolution.